Your boyfriend has this shirt. My boyfriend has this shirt. Your best friend’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your ex-best friend’s ex-boyfriend has this shirt. Your sister’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your across-the-hall neighbor’s boyfriend has this shirt. The girl who lent you a hair tie at the gym’s boyfriend has this shirt. That dude whom LinkedIn keeps emailing you about due to incessant job promotion’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your friend who never has cash’s boyfriend has this shirt.
Your colleague who knows the best unpublished celebrity gossip’s boyfriend has this shirt. That girl who can pull off a statement necklace’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your co-worker who always has stamps’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your friend who can do cat-eye eye liner’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your tallest friend’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your acquaintance who genuinely enjoys quinoa’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your cousin who is really manic about hand sanitizer’s boyfriend has this shirt. That guy who still finds time to read’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your friend who says totes without irony’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your co-worker who is really into oil pulling right now’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your Facebook friend who invites you to eight goddamn improv shows a week’s boyfriend has this shirt. Your friend who is always in a relationship’s last four boyfriends have this shirt.
This is the shirt of our boyfriends, and it has its own Instagram account.
